The Devil’s Turds

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Here’s the thing, olives, I just don’t get them, not at all, not remotely. They are in my opinion the devil’s turds.

Social convention and polite society dictates that you should not only enjoy these rabid sphincter stones, but should actually converse in their vintage, region, colour, size and even production. And to not appreciate their grandeur warrants revulsion.

I bought these oily tag-nuts for guests this evening on the premise that to not do so, would be to lack as a host significantly! …it seems as though I’m not the only one who cares not for these bum nuggets, but now I’m left with them. And they’re staring at me with all the allure of a nasty set of dangly-berries.

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