I’m a lucky epileptic in some respects, I’m very well controlled, I’ve not had a seizure since 1987 ~ except I’m on the wrong medication and have been for the last 32yrs.
I’m on the male version of the anti-epileptic drugs, Epilim. It’s simply not prescribed for females any more. Side effects: weight gain, male pattern hair loss, poly cystic ovary syndrome, foetal damage, derealisation states to name but a handful. Most of which I have – I’ve not had a child yet ~ it’s too dangerous.
All my life I’ve lived in a fug-like state ~ nothing is sharp in my head, nothing is clear, it’s like I experience life one step back from where life is and the gap between me and life is filled with cotton wool. That’s the best way I can explain it. It was for this reason and that at times I struggle to form sentences, I went to see a consultant 18mths ago.
“You need to change medication.”
Said the consultant ~ she threw me with what she said next …
“you’re on the wrong drug, you should never have been prescribed it.”
Stunned, I took the medication home and read the leaflet… And. The. Seemingly. Endless. List. Of. Side. Effects!!
I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t switch, I was scared of becoming a zombie as one woman had become during her switch.
I saw my consultant again yesterday – we talked for over half an hour and I poured out my fears ~ there were many. She allayed almost all of them. The pros outweigh the cons. And so today, a new year, I’m starting the switch.
I stared at the pills for an age today … didn’t read the leaflet again, good god no. And finally took one.
Here we go. Hold my hand.