My dance teacher has suggested that I enter my first dance competition in the beginning of April and with that comes the need for a proper dress, all flowy and floaty, with those tasselly lengths of material hanging from your wrists, covered in boat-load crystals.
But these things are made to measure ~ these things have built in bust-cups and panties (!!) … and that means just one thing, I need to measure me, or more precisely given some of the measurements required, I need to find someone to measure me … the shame! There’s pretty much only one person for the job, Laura.
Poor poor Laura, she got to measure every bit of me, and I really do mean every bit including “front to back” … or more specifically my c*nt.
We embarked on a hilarious half hour measuring nigh on every bit of me, trying to decipher the photograph’s instructions of where to measure and yes, we measured my c*nt from front to back.